You are allowed to live in the exhale. My body, my nervous system, and my mind are all learning this together, slowly syncing into an understanding that can’t be forced or rushed. This is where I am currently residing. Gently. Wintering. Composting. Realigning. I’m walking towards my 50s with intention, with a plan and a goal in sight. But over the next six years, as I continue my learning, it feels just as important to become deeply grounded in myself and to unravel all there is to know about my own healing needs. I can’t honestly or energetically hold space for others if I haven’t walked the path myself, crossed the threshold, and gone through the door. Right now, I am honouring myself first. This is why the nurturing and enlightening programmes I’m taking part in this year matter so much to me. Animal Body with Weaving Wonderment, starting in March. Bite the Apple with Jane Mary, which I’m already part way through. And continued one to one support from Sam Youngz, also known as Spirit Eyes, my little nickname for her. I’m halfway through a two week break from my day job, after putting in extra hours and navigating a delicate support role that required a composed, empathetic, nurturing presence. As I prepare to step into my official role as a support worker within a dementia unit at our new premises, I’m giving myself permission to pause. To process what has been. To tend to my home, my studies,
What is Panpsychism? - David Chalmers - Closer to Truth
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I used to wear my busyness like a badge of honour. I associated how much I could get done in a day with accomplishment. Oh how times change. Now I measure how much of a successful human I am on how much I can kick back in a day. And by that I mean how in tune I am with what I actually need, to be able to calm my nervous system after a busy few days at work and home. How much I can quiten my mind and connect back to myself and my body. Getting out of my head, and tuning into the authentic version of myself that remembers how to play and see the beauty and wonder in life. Not the version of myself that has to tick off everything on the list to be able to relax. Today was a "successful day". After watching a film I had a leisurely bath with epsom salts and essential oils. Then I took dogo out for a two hour play in the woods. I love how he's so unruly. . . Walks are on his terms. However, it enables me to let go of the need to control or rush. Giving me the opportunity to stop and just look and be. All while he has a sniff of the trees, takes his one hundredth wee and rolls around in animal poop! It was also a chance to listen to my music and even have a little dance. Only the
Would you continue to play a song if you did not like it? Or would you skip that track to get to a song you do enjoy? I have officially completed my twelve-month Shamanic Initiation programme and will be starting my second year in just a couple of weeks. Last Thursday, I should have ventured into the wilderness to spend four days with my beautiful Shamanic sisters. To find myself. My truth. To push my personal boundaries and limits. And I did find myself. I remembered. I saw and walked my path of truth. But it was not in the wilderness. It was within me. In the dark depths of my soul and at the very edges of my body. And in the softness of my gentle energy. And what I realised is this: I am not broken. I do not need to prove myself any more. That truth came to me in the most unexpected way. I was hoovering in the kitchen of my old house, which is over one hundred years old. One of the modern tiles lifted, and underneath was a beautiful old-fashioned original tile. That moment resonated so deeply. It showed me that I do not need to cover myself with modern layers to be acceptable. I only need to dig deep enough to see and accept the wonder and beauty that has always been there. I even tried to put the new tile back in place. But it cracked, refusing to cover up what had
Do you ever feel guilty for "doing nothing". For not being productive enough? It's drilled into us to go one hundred miles an hour. At least I feel I conditioned myself in this way. No putting blame on any one or anything here. This is the life we live in. I don't go at the pace anymore but I still notice the lingering guilt. I tend to have a niggling feeling at the edge of my subconscious telling me that I've not accomplished or achieved enough this day or this week. What that is exactly that I'm supposed to have achieved I can't actually tell you. But what I can tell you is that those statements are a pile of cr@p. Let's break my week down 👇 I've deep cleaned my home and washed many loads of clothes for a start. Completed a big fortnightly shop and cooked many nutritious lunches and dinners for my family. But more importantly than this I've chosen rest, time to decompress, joy, connection, mind expansion and spiritual development. As a family we embarked on an amazing family holiday last week, visiting the beach and forest and taking boat trips. Then we attended the Soul Revolution festival, from which we returned on Monday. Since then I needed quiet to decompress and transition back into my home life. But I still laughed and talked with the kids. Treated them at the shops. Went for a family walk. Helped my son cook his favourite meal and my
Six wise women Six seeds planted Six descents nurturing a ripening return to wholeness Over the next 18 months, I will walk alongside 6 incredible women. Each is a mirror, guide & keeper of keys. This isn’t just a mentorship journey. This is my Persephone journey. A descent into my own underworld. And a return with treasures I buried long ago. When I first felt the call to deepen these parts of myself, I sat with the question: Was it possible? Could I hold it all? Would it flow? Fear surrounded this question, momentarily. But the answer came not in logic, but in knowing. It hit me like an intuitive wave. A powerful pull from the solar plexus. Then I saw it. A number I knew in that moment was sacred To me. To women. To the energetic realms. During a recent weekend’s Shamanic gathering, I heard her name: Persephone. The mythical goddess of the underworld, whose story has long echoed through my own. Her descent. Her unraveling. Her loss of autonomy. The push & pull between surrender & reclamation. Her return to power. The 6 pomegranate seeds she ate. The 6 months she lived in shadow & light. Her journey is my own in many ways. And so, I said yes. A full-hearted, soul-led yes to this fully immersive experience. Will I cope? I’ve come to honour & respect how quickly my mind transforms basic thoughts into fully formed, embodied insights. This path will stretch me, but it will
It's been a while. How are you all doing? It's been a ride hasn't it. Life. Recently. There's been a lot going on under the surface. So many transformative moments. For me, I lost my dad. I let go of a soul contract with my closet friend of 40 years. I changed my career. I was officially diagnosed with ASD, ADHD and a few other things. I'm known for not doing things by halves. But one thing that was my stable was my Shamanic Priestess Path. That includes many modalities, many ceremonies and rituals, many journeys, many dark night of the soul moments, realisations and integrations. It's a path I've been on my entire life. However after an accident a few years ago, one I knew was predestined and agreed on before reincarnation, I knew it was time to take this path seriously. I have since started my Philosophy and Psychology Degree with a masters in Psychotherapy to follow, joined a two year Shamanic Initiation program, taken part in a Munay Ki initiation, Reiki level two attunement, Counselling Level two and three diploma and signed up to an embodied Animal Body container to reconnect with my body and the raw, wild woman within. This is a path I am committed too. I can't say fully how it will evolve. And I love that. What I can say is I'm starting with me. The deep inner work. And I hope to one day be humble and worthy enough to be entrusted
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